DO'S & DON'TS Of Hosting

It’s no secret I love to host. Finding my groove within my current house has been a learning curve, but now that I have some practice under my belt I’ll find any reason to host! Not gonna lie, I was a little traumatized after my Halloween party a couple years ago because it was such a production that I would need a lot of mental strength to take on such an elaborate set up again. But also, our HOA was trying to shut us down pretty early, which was not gonna fly after all our hard work. Because of that I’ve mostly stuck to daytime pool parties or smaller gatherings inside.

This past NYE though, I was motivated to host a smaller indoor dinner party for our friends since none of us have done anything for New Years in about a decade. With kids involved, it’s hard to even make it awake until midnight, so I really didn’t have high expectations for us. Of course, in true Sivan form, once I start planning I can’t be stopped. The Pinterest mood boards take over and the next thing I know we have a chef, bartender, rentals & dress code underway lol.

I will say, the set-up was easy. I kept the aesthetic super simple and focused my budget on the more important things like good food & drinks. Let’s get into my thoughts about this topic.

Here’s my list of Do’s & Don’ts when hosting (larger or smaller gatherings):

Do

Dim the lights. Lighting is SO important for setting the mood. All overhead lights off and only dim accent lights on. Dim lighting helps people feel more relaxed and comfortable to let loose, so this is especially important if you want to turn things up and dance.

Light candles. Everywhere – bathroom, kitchen, on tables, side tables, etc. Not only does this add to the ambiance, I love to pick a statement scent to be the signature scent of my home. You can also replace all lighting for candles if there’s enough light coming off of them.

Play the right music. This one takes some finessing based on your crowd, type of event, etc. My preference is always a playlist that’s longer than your event so there’s no worrying about it ending, making sure there is a crossfade function (songs that blend into each other) so there’s no dead silence between songs, and the right volume. I have a playlist for every vibe if you want to save my playlists. Chill pool vibes, fun dinner party, cooking with a glass of wine, and so many more.

Curate the guest list. I’ve been loving smaller, more intimate gatherings (24-30 people) because it means less small talk and more meaningful conversation and fun together. I love the ease of a gathering where people all know each other, and as the host, the pressure to entertain everyone is lifted off of me.

Serve quality cocktails. Nothing, and I mean nothing, will deter me from having a drink faster than a mixer or sugary options. If a bartender isn’t within budget (or just doesn’t make sense for the type of event), stick to some good quality wines. Self-pouring is totally fine! When I have a bartender I stick to the basics – martini, marg, old fashioned. A signature drink can be fun to throw in for a themed event, but can’t go wrong with the classics.

Something to nibble on. Not every event is about eating, which I totally get, but having a cheese / charcuterie board or light bites for your guests to snack on is always a good idea. Especially if drinking is involved, snacking should be encouraged. When I’m not in the mood to prepare all the food myself, I ask my guests to bring an easy side and it usually amounts to the ideal variety and a low lift for everyone.

Have a clear vision. If you’re going in on the decor, make sure you have a very clear vision for yourself to keep things cohesive. I make mood boards anytime I host to help me visualize, but also to assist in creating itemized lists of what I need to execute (vases, linens, flowers, etc).

Focus on the right details. I always say this, but throwing a fun event comes down to 3 things: lighting, good music & good drinks. The rest is gravy. If you’re on a tight budget, these are the first 3 things to nail down. Decor, flowers, and “photo moments” are not important.

Don’t 

Insist on a theme. I’m all for a themed party, but limiting what people can wear (especially when men are involved) really creates an additional obstacle to attending. We’re all adults here; if attending an event is going to be difficult for me, I’m already kind of over it. Sorry, just being honest.

Make people stand all night. Listen, if it’s a dance party sure. But chances are someone [men] will want a place to sit eventually, and people should have somewhere to set their stuff down. Especially if women are in heels, I feel some seating is important. I loved our dinner party turned dance party because people had the option to stay seated or stand up on their chairs and join the fun.

Be overly strict. We are typically a no-shoes household but when I’m hosting anything goes. And I’ll just be mopping really well the next day. When I open up my home for an event I want everyone feeling very comfortable. I had a chandelier break on NYE because we were dancing on the countertop in my kitchen and I didn’t bat an eye. It’s all part of being a hospitable host.

Feel the need for an activity. Depending on the event an activity can be fun (ie: murder mystery, cooking together, game night, etc.), but you don’t need “something to do” at an adult party. When the guest list is curated, the activity becomes conversation and presence.

Only serve alcoholic drinks. You can go above & beyond and add a nice mocktail to your menu, or simply ensure there’s soft drinks or sparkling water for those who don’t drink. And while we are here, make sure you have enough regular water. People need to stay hydrated, especially while drinking!

Arrive empty-handed. Call me old fashioned, but I was raised to always show up with a gift for the hostess. While I don’t think a “gift” is always necessary, a bottle of wine (or whatever you’d like to drink) is always appreciated. I guess this tip is for your guests, not the host, but I felt like it was fitting.

Undecided on…

A dress code. Sometimes I like having one, but sometimes it’s so restricting and stressful. I think for things like a wedding weekend with multiple events or a themed event it makes sense, but otherwise I just like to wear what I want without the pressure to buy something new or feel like I “got it right.” Again, parties should be fun and any unnecessary obstacles feel just that, unnecessary.

P.S. I got a lot of questions about everything I used for our recent New Year’s Eve party. Made a list for you guys here.