A few weeks ago during an IG Live I was asked “what defines confidence” and I was stumped. I wanted to address the question right away, as it was different and caught me off guard, but I didn’t want to half ass the answer. Confidence is a pretty big deal, especially in today’s society where we can pretend to be as confident as we want online. Possessing self confidence is something I used to value above everything (especially when I was single) and I realized it had been a minute since I gave it some real thought.

When I was younger (we’re talking 19, 20, 21) I thought confidence was being outspoken, bold, loud. It probably had something to do with the fact that I dated someone who was all of the above and expected me to be the same. In other words, it was his definition of confidence. I began questioning my confidence because I didn’t particularly identify with those qualities. I was comfortable with myself, but didn’t feel the need to throw it in other people’s faces.

I struggled with what confidence meant to me. Was it being happy with my body? Not caring what others think of me? Being able to speak in front of people? It became an overwhelming topic to process.

Fast forward to today. A good 10 years later and I think (think) I have a better grasp of what confidence means to me. In my opinion, confidence is the ability to be your true self, unapologetically. It means being able to say ‘no’ without guilt. It means knowing your own worth, without having to compare yourself to someone else.

I’ve had this topic on my growing list [of blog topics] for weeks now and this morning I woke up feeling like I could finally articulate my feelings about it. I hope it makes sense. Of course, now I want to know what YOU think defines confidence. Tell me in the comments below.