It has come to my attention that many of you admire me for my IDGAF attitude. At first I was like, ‘oh shit, is this really what I want people to take away from following me?’ but then I realized that yes, it is. Obviously I have other things to offer (at least I think so), but if developing a thicker skin in order to deal with the shit life throws at us is what you like about me, I’m not mad at it.
You should know that it has taken a me a lot of time to get to this point. Over our anniversary dinner, Paul and I asked each other “What has it been like being married to me for 4 years?” His answer to me was something along the lines of: he has watched me evolve and grow into a person who has become a lot more confident and willing to stand up for herself. He then summed it up by saying I’ve developed an IDGAF attitude but not in a negative way. It totally got me thinking about that because I’m sure to some people that is a flaw.
There will always be judgement and assumptions made about you, but I like to use my platforms to clarify and elaborate on parts of my life. The last thing I want is for people to think I’m some girl who doesn’t care about others, because in my eyes that is totally NOT what my attitude stands for. And by the way, for anyone who might not know what IDGAF stands for it’s I Don’t Give A Fuck. LOL…maybe not what you expected?
Anyway, the distinction I want to make is this: I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with having an IDGAF attitude as long as you’re doing the right thing. For example, if you have conflict with someone and you’re trying your best to resolve it and do the right thing, then your attitude is acceptable. It’s when you truly don’t care about people or how you make them feel when an IDGAF attitude is not acceptable. In fact, it’s just plain rude, insensitive, and wrong.
I care very much about people and how my actions or words affect them, but that doesn’t always solve the issue. I’m currently dealing with a personal issue that has been incredibly frustrating and hurtful to me and we are not even close to a resolution. I can’t get into the details but trying to push my feelings out of my head in order to move forward with the rest of my life has been extremely challenging and having an IDGAF attitude is what has helped me most. And like I said, it’s not that I don’t care, because trust me I do (probably too much), but I know I’ve done the right thing, I’ve spoken my truth, and that is all I can do.
My IDGAF attitude also heavily applies to my life on social media. When you open yourself up for the world to watch, judge, ridicule, it can be so hard to keep your mouth shut and not let it affect you. When a troll comments something dumb on my pictures or sends me an attacking DM it takes everything in me to ignore it. You knowwww I have something to say in return, but I don’t dignify comments like that with replies. I just don’t engage. But I can honestly honestly honestly say that not ONCE has a comment hurt my feelings. For starters, we all know that when people make rude comments it’s a direct reflection on how they feel about themselves or an indication of how unhappy they are. I feel sorry for people like that and don’t feel the need to put them in a darker place than they already are.
I do feel like it takes a certain confidence level in order to truly possess an IDGAF attitude. You need to be secure with who you are. How you look, what you believe in, your choices. You don’t compare yourself to an unrealistic photo on IG. You don’t take offense if someone doesn’t like your style. You don’t get your feelings hurt when someone disagrees with you. YOU DO YOU. It may have taken close to 30 years for me to reach this point but I no longer care if people have something negative to say about me. I know that I strive to always do the right thing and that is all that matters to me. I know when I’ve made the wrong choice – I get a terrible feeling in my gut or feel the need to hide it (like the time I replied to a troll and Paul yelled at me for stooping to that level and engaging). When you do the right thing you will feel good and CONFIDENT about your choice.