How to Keep a Relationship Spicy

It’s crazy to think, but Paul and I are actually going on 10 years of being together (and have known each other wayyy longer). We were literally babies when we first started dating and I can’t believe it’s been a f*cking decade! Between all the personal changes that come with your 20s and 30s, to buying homes, traveling the world, having Capri, and obviously some shitty times, I’m really proud of us. A decade later and we still truly enjoy each other’s company (most of the time). He’s still who I want to hang out with more than anyone and that cheesy *spark* is still there. Here are my tips on keeping things spicy, even 10 years in.

+ Communicate

It might not sound sexy, but there’s a really easy way to build a wall between two people and it’s a lack of communication. Whether it’s being open about your feelings, your sex life, your goals, whatever, talk it out.

+ Get ready

I might sound like a 1950’s housewife and that’s fine (because let’s be real, I’m anything but). I do believe in the power of looking good, though, not only for yourself but for your partner as well. When you both start letting yourselves go, the spark can slip as well. And that’s not to say you can’t have days where you look like a sloth, because I do, but for the most part, I at least pull myself together in some capacity.

+ Have secrets

Not the kind that ruins a relationship – the kind that enhances it. There are some beauty tasks that I don’t do in front of Paul because it takes a sense of mystery out of things. Same with some of his random guy things, too. I also think we still feel spicy because we keep each other guessing. Paul doesn’t know every single story about my life and vice versa. The element of surprise is important.

+ Make time

Whether that’s a day date (Paul and I love a mid-day coffee or lunch + rosé date), going to see a concert, or cooking dinner together at night, you need time for each other each week. Time when the kids or friends aren’t involved and neither are your cell phones. It might look like Paul and I are both on our phones 24/7, but we actually get a lot of 1:1 time without them.

+ Dress each other

I heard this tip years ago and it’s always stuck with me. Once in a while, let your partner pick your date-night outfit and you pick his. Obviously you’re going to pick what you like the person in which instantly spices things up. Paul ALWAYS chooses some mini dress which isn’t the biggest shocker in the world, and while we played recently he grabbed this one. I actually wasn’t mad at all because how effing cute is this Reformation dress? Reformation is part of Nordstrom’s new Sustainable Style which I thought was cool. They now have a ton of sustainable options which means the materials are sustainably sourced and some of the companies give back. All good things, and something I didn’t know about Reformation or Nordstrom. Basically, Paul picked well!

Oh and while we’re on the topic of this outfit, a bunch of you asked about the snakeskin boots when I posted on Instagram. I’m wearing this pair but these are cute as well. For my entire outfit + similar picks, click through the widget to the right.

What’s your secret for keeping things spicy?

Thanks to Nordstrom for sponsoring this post. As always, thoughts are my own.